Dying with heart failure is a turbulent journey that unfolds potentially over years. However, making life ‘worth living’ in the face of dying is less well-studied. Based on two years’ ethnographic fieldwork in England (2017-2019) with people with heart failure, I will present poetic excerpts that capture and synthesise key themes. These excerpts were written during fieldwork, incorporating participants’ utterances and aspects of their own poetry, and reworked during data analysis. I foreground how narrative and stillness intertwine towards end of life as participants begin to look back on their lives, and making new meaningful narratives is deprioritised. Participants simultaneously do less and less, and feel ‘done’ with living. Wishing to die is most often seen as a symptom of underlying pathology. However, I argue for an understanding of ‘settling into stillness’ towards the end of life, to highlight how this can be a gradual, multifaceted, non-pathological process of change. Settling into stillness, and realising that one is done with living, might thus be respected.

Caitlin is a Medical Anthropologist at the ANU School of Medicine and Psychology, in the Social Foundations of Medicine Group. She has recently moved from the University of Oxford and completed a Mildred Blaxter Postdoctoral Research Fellowship from the Foundation of the Sociology of Health and Illness, focusing on wellness and quality of life towards the end of life. Specialising in sensory ethnography and creative methods, Caitlin has focused on teaching qualitative research methods for both health and social science audiences. She has received a number of scholarships and awards for academic achievement and public engagement. Passionate about holistic wellbeing and different forms of healing, Caitlin has sought interdisciplinary research experience spanning death and dying, home and hospital care, global health, policy, and music. She has helped develop and coordinate multiple international research projects, collaborating with the World Health Organisation and other leading institutions. Through her research, she aims to champion medical anthropological lenses, translate findings for public audiences, and contribute to real-world impact in health and care.